I'm thinking of empty thoughts

I cannot begin this literature of mine. I really love to just get away and have peace in my head. Everyday is different, but also has that sense of sameness. I don't think that sentence made sense... I set my alarm on different times everday. It's very annoying. Sometimes it goes and I'm up, sometimes it goes and I don't want to get up, and sometimes I'm up before it goes. I don't know if I want regular days. I probably won't. I like that my schedule's flexible, but also staying busy at the same time. I need a vacation. I'm not sure what I need. The economy has done enough damage. I need to start writing some more. I'm reading more these days and that's odd. I use to not read, and write more. I am going through a phase, I guess. 

Ahhh... I started this blog to get me typing back again. 

Focus

Where is my focus? 

It seems like I'm loosing it... There's no idea's there's no thoughts, there's not even any effort for me to make this brain of mine to think like a machine. I feel dumb. I went to B&N two days ago and bought some books. I read the first few pages of "The Point Man", and didn't like it so I returned it immediately. I haven't gone through the others, and I'm probably going to keep them and read them later. One book's called Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and A Man called Blessed by Ted Dekker. It was recommended by a friend. We'll see how that'll go. 

I have been depressed lately. I'm so thankfull and blessed for all the people around me that brings smiles to my face and joy to my heart. I'm not going to write that much, for now. I don't feel very well. 

I'm not sure yet

A lot of things have said and a lot have happened in the past 24 hours. I wish I can write right now, but I am in a state of tiredom. I'll continue later. Oh so there's so much more to say. I'm slowly getting the will to write again. It's good that I want to write again, but what I will be writing is not something that I'm smiling about. I've never felt in deep sadness such as right now since my parents decided to separate.

The next posting will be interesting. I wish that the past 24 hours was just a dream. I wish I didn't do it. Itook the plunge and drowned. I'm very tired and just sad. I'm listening to John Mayer and it's not working. Until then...

It keeps craashing...

Everytime I write something it would save then would like have an error right in the middle and I would accidentally delete the box and come back and nothing's left. WTH!? I think it's the internet. It's a big poo. 

To make this sweet and short. I have been lagging on this blog for a while. It's both because I'm lazy and also busy at the same time. The fact that business is slow, and that I just couldn't find the right tune with my life right now. I was sick 2 weeks ago and was out of the town last week. I guess it was meant to happen. I don't mind being sick, and the missions trip was totally worth going for. 

Missions Trip and all

I'm not sure where to begin. I had pneumonia and my asthma came back out of no where. I'm better now, but I feel like I have forgotten this blog. Let's start off from where I left off. 

I took on the missions trip to Alabama with a little bit of a pneumonia and a lot of asthma. We met at Journey of Faith parking lot, where I left my car and took it from there. We got t-shirts that says "bama or bust" one neon green on the way there and a red one on the way back. The parents of the kids gave us a ride to the airport and off we go. I had a backpack and a small pillow with me and that's it. I don't need to pay the extra 15 bucks to check in a luggage. I'm cool with my carry on. I guess I'm easy going. There's 21 kids including the 2 high school leaders. Then there's me and two other female leaders. Lots of folks, I know. It was good. It was smooth. We had a lay over in Houston and we flew Continental airlines. Got in late and went to Alamo to get our vans. We had a little bit of an issue at the rental place, but it all kinda went okay. We then drove around New Orlean's to go find the place we're staying in to spend the night in. We stayed in a school where most missionaries would bunk the night. It was pleasant, the boys didn't get much sleep, and we got in pretty late. The next day comes and off we go to Mcd's for breakfast. Then drove to an old church and painted it.

Alabama was fun overall. There's so many good memories from the trip and I just want to write everything down. I'm okay. I can't focus right now... 

Being Alone

I had something going on... then my interenet decided to pull tricks on me. booo wooo... I'm going to bed. I'm sick...