Work Update

Everything's starting to come together. I'm not going to just sit here and wait for things to happen. I have to go over there and make something happen and do something about it. Even though nothing comes easy for me these days. I don't even know where this company is going. My boss has done a phenomenal job in the past 14 years doing what we're doing now and as time progresses him and I are trying our best to keep it all together. Even though he had to take another job because this is just not feeding his crazy family and he almost couldn't afford me. I'm going crazy as I'm doing so much for a pay cut. I'm not complaining, I just could see myself doing work else where and be more stable. Perhaps be moving to a different state to work for a bigger company is a possibility if I want to focus on my career. Question: Is that what's in my heart?

Something tells me that there's a bigger plan for me other than going out of state and maybe working 9-5 at some lab and be satisfied having a nice 403b. Great! SBHI lab is existent and I'm getting all the accreditation necessary. That's been the work in progress lately. The lab has done some work, and it has been running since the beginning of spring. Everything is in high gear, but there is not a lot of transactions done so far as far as the projected goal monthly. It used to be quarterly, but I had to break it into months. Things are just going out of control with the boss's family. As an apprentice, side-kick, "robin", friend, I want to make sure that "batman"'s in tip top shape to be in this and to not be discourage even more so than what we've gone through in the past year. I'm now putting deadlines and setting realistic goals for this company. Which could be very frustrating and draining. I'm putting up dates and if by that time things aren't met, then we're closing the lab and I could step down a little bit and work part time for SBHI with doing what we've been doing for 14 years.

Let's stick with what we're used too, if things don't blossom. It's great to diversify, but if to diversify is costing us more than we're losing and hoping on making more and it's not making anything then that's pointless. There were lots of promises when we started doing sound testing, roofing certs, pool certs, insurance claims, etc. And how many have we done? Well not as much as we wanted. There is that "want to succeed", to make this profitable. That's why it's called business. Who doesn't want to succeed? Nobody. It's human to want success, to be able to make something out of nothing. It's okay to fail. We learn from it. Even with success, we learn to be humble. I think this year, if things don't go the right way at least I can say that I've tried. There's other options out there for this company. And we're prideful for our service and our work. It's like having a really nice yacht, and we're competing with cruise ships. An option is to go on board with the bigger ships, and that's what my boss has done last fall. And even that ship is rusting. The industry is just not doing so hot at this point of time.

On a positive note, there's still hope. I sing for hope every morning. There's no way that I'm giving up this easily. I worked hard to build this thing. It just happens that it's in Los Angeles, California. A state that has no money for anything. I've demonstrated knowledge and some experience in these fields such as building sciences, industrial hygiene, indoor environmental risk assessment and microbial investigation, remediation, and consulting. I try to maintain the highest professional standard. I'm sure it'll come handy someday. I cross my fingers on this regards. I have grown white hair and lacked sleep over it. It seemed promising in the beginning when everything looked shiny from the package. And now I'm putting a timeline to this thing and projects to either make or break this deal. The deal of offering more to meet certain financial goals, company goals, and personal goals. My boss wants a boat, and I want to buy a house. We'll see how that goes.

On a side note... I'm sending my father a proposal letter. My goals and plans for the next few months. He's part of the plan. My family's part of the plan. This world is part of the plan. God is definitely in it. I'm just going to be His hands and feet. I'm excited to hear from my father back and see what he thinks and if he reviews it and thinks that it's possible and doable. There is a bright future ahead. There's a lot on the line and there's a lot of sacrifice that needs to be made. I'm up for it. We'll see where this leads. I'm going to be a free agent and I could either opt-out and sign with a different team, or sign back in. Things could get tricky by how this whole crater gets deeper or reachable. It's only a matter of months. Let's see what God has in store for me. There's definitely something awesome at the end of the tunnel and right now I'm just noticing what's around this cave for now. My eyes are focused on the prize, but there's work to be done to get there. I'm expecting bumps and shakes, but nothing's going to stop me because I got God on my side. Something magnificent is coming up....

For Men by Charles Swindoll

For Men
by Charles R. Swindoll

Ephesians 6:4-8

I don't often recommend a volume without reservation, but I think every man should readTemptations Men Face by Tom Eisenman. I'm not saying I agree with everything in it, or that you will, but his observations, insights, and suggestions are both penetrating and provocative. In fact, that book got me thinking about the top temptations fathers face.

First, the temptation to give things instead of giving ourselves. Don't misunderstand. Providing for one's family is biblical. First Timothy 5:8 calls the man who fails to provide for his family's needs "worse than an unbeliever." But the temptation I'm referring to goes far beyond the basic level of need. It's the toys vs. time battle: a dad's desire to make up for his long hours and absence by unloading material stuff on his family rather than being there when he is needed.

Second, the temptation to save our best for the workplace. How easy it is for dads to use up their energy, enthusiasm, humor, and zest for life at work, leaving virtually nothing for the end of the day.

Third, the temptation to deliver lectures rather than earning respect by listening and learning. When things get out of hand at home, it's our normal tendency to reverse the order James 1:19 suggests. First, we get mad. Then, we shout. Last, we listen. When that happens, we get tuned out.

Fourth, the temptation to demand perfection from those under our roof. We fathers can be extremely unrealistic, can't we? Fathers are commanded not to exasperate their children (Eph. 6:4).

Fifth, the temptation to find intimate fulfillment outside the bonds of monogamy. Thanks to our ability to rationalize, we men can talk ourselves into the most ridiculous predicaments imaginable.

Sixth, the temptation to underestimate the importance of your cultivating your family's spiritual appetite. Fathers, listen up: Your wife and kids long for you to be their spiritual pacesetter.

Ready for a challenge? Begin to spend time with God, become a man of prayer, help your family know how deeply you love Christ and desire to honor Him.

How about facing the music and then changing the tune? Say a firm NO to any of these subtle, sneaky, slippery temptations that have slipped into your life.

Letter to Papa

Dear Papa,

A simple greeting that I bring to you, Papa. As much as I miss you, I feel very blessed to have you as my Papa. Even though you aren't around for the past 10 years or so, your DNA still runs through my body. We just spoke to each other not so long ago via "yahoo" chat, and it felt like a rigatori going through my esophagus. Time doesn't hit me as much as it did a years ago. You know what I'm dealing with now, and though my trust in you is a little less than a sweetened iced tea it's still good to hear from you. To just know that you're still alive and present. We all have our struggles, and I'm joyful that you are semi-doing well. I know how ambitious we are in life. I runs in the family. I love how you talked about having faith and staying strong and being hopeful. I appreciate every blessing that you give me. I just always wish that you're a phone call away or a short flight away.

We were chatting for a good solid hour. Three quarters of it was about business and I am worried and scared Papa. I feel like I am following you and "Daddy's" (grandpa), footsteps in terms of work. I remember you starting up this semi conductor company. I remember Daddy's corporation. And now another Ram in me is starting this aerobio-lab. You're so proud, but you're not here to see it. I sent you the scope of the the lab and I appreciate the advice and the recommendations. I haven't talked to you in years and here you are again giving me a lecture about business. Being there was enough for me.

Happy Father's day to you Papa. I hope your family would recognize how amazing of a father are you to them. All I do now is reminisce the good times we've had. You've given me an offer to go back to you. I am actually considering it. I told you the plan. I told you my desire to serve God and not this world. Thank you for giving me that security of having you behind me and the support that you give me on to whatever journey I take. I'll pray about it and there is a possibility that I may see Nana (grama) by the end of this year or even earlier. And like I told you, I don't want to settle with you. I will seek to explore what's out there and be open to sufferings and celebrations. It all depends if the science of what I'm doing goes booming or falls down. I know that you have faith in me because I'm your awesome son. Sometimes I just want to buy a one way ticket to random country and figure things out from there. Leave them all the money with no strings attached. You know that I am capable of disappearing like a monkey in the jungle. I remember that time when you lost me in the rapids in Bali and I flipped and almost got knock out by a coconut. That I enjoyed drinking and eating that afternoon. Oh the fun times we had.

I'm sorry if I've been a rude son by not keeping in touch for the past year. I will be more consistent by writing to you. As the time of meeting is becoming more of a possibility. Thanks for the encouragement, the affirmation, and the blessings. I wish you well. Take care and God Bless!

Sincerely, ME

ps. if i write to my father right now, this is how it'll be like. but i wish him a happy birthday in spirit and perhaps a little short message saying "happy father's day". i know that i can do something about it, and i am.

Waking up at 3 am... why?

I don't know exactly why I just got up from bed and now in front of my computer listening to the sounds of Coldplay and writing on this blog. I'm still sleepy... Yet, I'm up... I have to get up early on a Saturday to perhaps pray and go drive 15 junior high kids to go play paint-ball at Lake Arrowhead. It's going to be a sick trip! I'm super excited with my tired eyes and more aspirating voice.

It's been a tough week or two. Just things coming out of no where. It's ridiculous. Whether it's at work, home, or church, it just keeps following me around like a magnet. I don't even know what follows me. Is it stress? confusion? frustration? Who knows, I never do these days. I just go with my gut these days and see if God approves or not cause He is my big boss. If He doesn't then, He makes something happen. I just need to follow. I give it all to Him.

I love how I have a bible to read and commentaries, precepts, journals, articles, etc. to just calm myself out. Or a good glass of clean tap water with no ice, and lemon. That's how I like it. I know what I like.

Going back to bed... zzzzzz....

Mensch

I come to the post office probably 4 times a week to do business with them. There's this older lady that's known me for quite some time now. She always greets me with a smile. Simply adorable. Today she called me a "mensch". I wasn't sure what it meant, but she was having a bad day. I thought I brighten it up by complementing her hair. She did get a hair cut, like last week. I haven't seen her since. I come in mid day asking for stamps. She then told me how her daughter is just having a hard time with her family, etc. Well... I just stood there and listened. Apologized for no reason. I didn't know what to say. I gave my payment and she told me how much she likes seeing me at the post office. I told her that I like seeing her too. And I thanked her for being herself. She's just a straight up shooter, and she can lift heavy boxes for an older lady. She also believes in Jesus, but I think her theology is a little mixed up. She knows that I'm a church boy. She think that I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing and that I should be a model or some sort of an entertainer. She always asks who's the flavor of the month. Silly post lady, asking me such questions about women.

So I researched the word "mensch" and I am pleased by it. I've never been a fan of complements, but that really somewhat, kind of made my day even though it was just mid day. I actually at first didn't have a clue if that word meant good or not, but I just smiled and thanked her for it. I did check the definition just now. According to Merriam-Webster it's a person with integrity and honor. There's other definitions online, and they're all good. It's Yiddish, which makes sense cause ms. post lady seemed German descent. The word "mensch" just has style in it. I don't know what it is. Now I have to walk and live with that word everyday now.

Kindness vs. Busyness

I was driving around Hollywood the other day and noticed how much I missed it. The crazy busy street of Melrose took a chicken leg out of my dinner plate. Then comes this huge 16 wheeler truck doing a full u-turn on a four lane street. It was impeccable. There's so many good stores on that street. I am missing out on some good thrift store shopping. Every side street in Beverly Hills has a meter. It's ridiculous. Thank goodness I still remember some secret spots to park and play. Two hours of walking around, shopping around, and trying to find a restroom was a great task. I bought a bagel from coffee bean. I used their restroom and sat as I watch people walk by for a good half an hour. It was great. I found time to plan the rest of that day. Next was to go to Robertson and go say "hey" to a few stores that I am acquainted with. That was the plan, until traffic hits the city. Oh the craziness...

People were yelling. Drivers were being inconsiderate with other drivers. Cars were bumper to bumper. I realize that the streets were just crowded with busy folks from the delivery guy, to the secretary, to the ceo, to the tourist, to the homeless. Then it hit me. If these people weren't so busy then they won't be rude or selfish. If these people were too kind then things won't go as it flows. The milk won't get there in time for it may stale. The patient may miss that beat and die as they drive by. That hungry person may starve to death. It may go over board and perhaps exaggerated, but it is also somewhat true. Most people would probably be a lot nicer if they weren't so busy. And people who are already very nice aren't probably as busy as any regular "joe" out there.

I look at being busy to be something productive. Busy is good. God calls us to be busy. Didn't He? I mean, if we are his hands and feet then we should be doing something 6 days out of the 7 days of the week and rest on the seventh day. There's plenty of verses in the bible that could be thrown at this topic of being busy. One would be 1 Thessalonians 3:6-15. It talks about the warning against idle. It's written in verse 10 that "a man who does not work, does not eat." Now how much do we need to work to feed ourselves? It seems like people around here like to eat a lot. As long as it's not gluttony then I think that's okay. However, if they start losing their values and morals then perhaps being too busy could have a tragic outcome. It could be so tragic that they'd lose faith in Jesus. Even when people think that they're still fine and dandy after being super busy the unconscious mind often times bring thoughts that could be unkindly. I guess that bring us to being kind.

I look at being kind to be something being generous. Generous is good. There's no random acts of kindness, only intentional acts given the opportunity to happen. Just like being busy. Being kind doesn't come randomly. It comes within the territory. It says in the bible in Colossians 3:12 to cloth ourselves in kindness. Also the 2nd most important commandment says in Matthew 7:12 "Do to others what you want to be done to you.." Kindness could be so important to our lives, but also could affect the way we live our lives. Are we doing kind things for other reasons other than pleasing our Father? There could be that second thought of why we do kind things. I asked myself this question today as I'm driving. "Did I just let that car get in my lane because it was the kind thing to do or is it because she's attractive?" If that was a man acting foolish and wanted to get in my lane, would i have given him room to slip in? Probably not...

Don't we pick out own battles? We're faced with an opportunity to be kind everyday. Also, we're are supposed to be working constantly for the good of this earth and the good of heavens above. It's good to set boundaries, to be able to know when to say "yes" and "no". I struggle with it a lot because I just want what pleases anyone. Well, I know that I can't please everyone. I try. But I also have my own self to please. And with all the pleasing going on, God is (should be) pleased first. There's a great balance between kindness and business. Both are great if both can exist. And I think they can. Being busy is good as long as kindness remains. Being kind is great, especially when done while being busy. This two aspects of life should always co-exist with great equilibrium. The more we get busy the more we forget "what would Jesus do". The more we care more for others, the more we forget that we're also important.

Now here's a curve ball... Can we be busy being kind? Yes, only if we're kind to treat ourselves as well. It says in Ecclesiates 3 that we should enjoy our lives as long as we can. Now even for the hungry, they can enjoy the gift of life. Just thankful for every second that I'm alive. I'm created in His image and if He calls for me to sit by His throne in heaven, then so be it- words of the hungry, and (should be) by everyone. I can be busy doing work and dealing with life. I can also love and be kind to everyone with all my heart and soul. I can't do it all. Agreed. But if I can, I will.

Happy Birthday Bro!

(Stole one of his pics on his facebook page, i don't know how old he was in this pic...)

It's my little brother's birthday! He's 17 now! All grown up! Hurray! I love you more than words and presents can ever tell.

Hitch

"Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom".

Lately, I've been sharing my broom to other ordinary homo sapiens out there. I'm that guy. If you come to me for advice or help to make your date, your crush, or your significant other blush I guarantee a spark. Of course with different personalities and intentions I keep a close eye to every individual. Of course not everyone gets the prime rib of ideas for a date, nor do I serve to everyone. I look for genuine people with solid core values. I give them the floor plan and the play, if executed correctly can lead to a beautiful journey.

Now I'm not saying I have the right broom to sweep any woman. There's no such thing as the perfect strategy on attracting the opposite sex. We're made to like each other. Boys are suppose to like girls and girls are suppose to like guys back. Dudes, girls like to be pursued. Gals, boys like to be affirmed. There's no recipe for perfection because there's no such thing as perfect. It could come close to saying just as perfect, but in every situation there's always at least a very small flaw or a lack of awesome. And that's okay. I've learned that to really enjoy someone is to really enjoy them even if they're miserable and awful. I see guys and girls doing it the wrong way, and I see guys mistreating girls and I see girls who are unappreciative of guys.

The list of epic dates, and ideas to draw someone in is in a box and I'm slowly giving the secret recipes to those who could use it or asking. I usually keep these ideas and scripts in a secret box and unleash them when the time comes for me to go on my own trek, but I figured that's just selfish and who would knew if my time to trek would come. Time to spread the love, and there's unlimited of that. "Life is not the amounts of breath you take, it's the moments that take your breath away." It makes me happy to see a friend or someone happy because I'm giving them great ideas. As long as I see a potential happy ending, then I'm all for it. The only thing that would probably take me back from helping someone is if they're after someone that I'm also after for. However, I'd make that sacrifice if he's a really good friend of mine. I've done it before, I know how it feels. It's not the greatest, but I'm willing to take a bullet from my own gun.

The cases that I'm working on right now are good. I'm not attracted to whoever they're after for, plus only two cases are around my age. The others are either younger, or older. Funny, how I'm putting myself in this juncture. I'm just done "liking" girls at the moment. I just feel trap and helpless. Now, let's not mourn about that. I'm okay that I'm not dating anyone, I think it's good that I'm not dating around either. So instead, let's flourish other people's desire to date and be in a relationship. It'd be so swell to see two awesome Christians to worship together and pray together. I'm planning a friend's date this week and I'm humbled by it. At first I was thinking, this is something I'd do if I was going out. Then I'm not going out with anyone, so go use it. The only way this could go wrong is if he messes it up sometime after this lunch date.

I get a lot of how do I fix things after screwing things up. It's a difficult task to get a second chance. Unless they're willing to adjust then maybe there's hope. I say "adjust" because we can't really change someone. We could modify them and improve people. And sometimes the two just can't dance together. Either he/she keeps stepping on each other's feet, or they're playing the wrong music. It is what it is. Sorry. I'm sure there's someone else out there that's walking at the same pace as you.

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

That's it. I want to help those who want to have moments that can take their breathe away. Something unusual, not ordinary, but spectacular is the plan. I've never been a big fan of the ordinary, plain, and simple dates. It could be ordinary with something extra ordinary moments. It could be plain with adventure and fun in hand. And it could be simple with a sentimental meaning with good prudence. In the end, no matter what the results would be. There's always going to be "l-o-v-e" in any manner. To love our brother's and sister's as ourselves has to be always in effect. To see someone cry makes us cry, to see someone laugh makes us laugh. We're made for each other and with each other. It's my pleasure to help people, especially the men, to show their like/love interest a splash of ingenuity and an exuberant amount of joy in their hearts.