Walks are great. It's relaxing and calming. I get to think, and exercise at the same time without any stress. I use to think and reflect about life when I swim, or when I'm on a bike, or when i'm on a run. However, it's just not the same when you're just not exerting any effort with your feet touching the earth. The day started early after a very long Saturday with the Song of Solomon conference and the bonfire in the evening. My eyes just open as soon as the break of light entered the room. It's Valentines Day and Chinese New Year. It's going to be a good day, and it was.
Prior to this day...
Saturday Conference/Bonfire:
Hello Mark Driscoll. Please to meet you. I am a big fan of yours. We both love God and have a passion for his word. Except you know more than I do, but that's okay. I'll catch up. Thank you for enlightening me and a few hundred people about God's interpretation of romance. I came prepared with my pen and my smart water. Let's just say that my company was amazing. Even though waking up early on a Saturday morning was like doing push ups to a slippery jello. There was breakfast, there was the freeway, there was the officer, there was downtown, there was the parking lot, there was the Orpheum, and there you were Mr. Driscoll wearing jeans and a Jesus shirt. I am done. That was a great adventure. I saw you, I heard you, and I agree with most of what you've said. Thanks for that. Now I have to go tell the single people what is up with dating as a Christian. I can share to those who are quote-on-quote dating people how to have a healthy relationship under God. I can share to those who are married how to amplify their love for each other. Only when I understand and accept to live a life that will shine God's glory in me and make me that messenger of your truth and love. We're all sinners. A sin is a sin, but a person is not like the other. Let's say I was given a cup of rice and every grain is marked with letters and numbers, and the other person's given the same set and amount. I'm not going to consume every single grain on that cup exactly in the same sequence as the other person. I look at the big picture and I get it. I look at the small picture and some branches of it are clear and some aren't quite visible. Like who could, would, should it be that person for me? I have envisioned it. Who hasn't had a dream of their wedding cake, their son's and daughter's first bible, their amazing adventure with that amazing person? The list goes on. I am in such aw of how remarkable God has put these all together. I haven't read a lot of books on these topics, and I'm just overwhelmed and I want to learn and grow from it. It's becoming a hobby of mine to do research and study men & women. We're not perfect, and so as this world. The only thing that's actually close to perfection are your words. I say close to perfection because there's so many versions of it. It's for the people to better their understanding of it, so it's only close to perfect because if there's always something to put the word "better" before it then it's not as perfect as it should be. Getting back on the ball, the day was perfect. The sun always warm things up. It just touches my heart. The nuts and bolts in my brain were tightened and my stomach full of miso soup, rice, salad, fish, vegetables, and sushi. See.. Los Angeles may have more dirt than any city around. The more you live in it, the more your immune system would actually get boosted up. No more stomach aches when you drink tap water in a third world country. In fact, I think I've been drinking tap water in all the countries that I've lived in. Key word: lived in. There were places where I've been growing up where the water's not really safe, so that's a no drink tap zone. The stranger the cantina is the more interesting the food may be. Oh the joy of trying new things. That's what separates Mark Driscoll from Francis Chan. One raised in a knife and fork home, and one raised in an chopstick home. The Station folks thought that if Mr. Driscoll and 'Uncle' Chan had a baby, it'd be me. Oh lovely indeed. Staying on topic.. I kind of have an idea now of the things that I need to work on. That is to make as much money as I can (half kidding), support my single mother and my little brother, become a philanthropist, and move on from there. Sometimes I think it's a burden, but I can't think like that anymore. I made a promise, and I'm sticking with it. And I feel more accomplished to see a smile on my mother's face and to see my brother excel and grow older. Oh Papa... See this past week I'm just really down by the fact that I'm just missing a dad. I really do miss my Papa. It's a really sensitive topic. And I cry just thinking about it. This has to move on or I'll just be writing about it and this entry would be another disaster. Mr. Driscoll, thank you. I am a man of God. God has ordered the men in the bible to lead, to be strong and responsible, to act to what you call them to do, to stay calm during a storm, to be patient and understanding, to be obedient and loyal, to work hard and be humble, to provide and give, to spread your glory and disciple others, and to love you God and to love everyone else around. If one thing is crystal clear to me now- that is my role as a man- that is of a collection of diligent men in the bible. It starts from Adam to Jesus. I am only a sinner to be saved in the power of Jesus. As I came to enjoy the day. Everything inside of me was in never ending motion. My mind was constantly working, my heart was constantly touched, my soul was constantly filled by the Holy Spirit. I tried to take a break for a little bit by the fire, but even then I was talking about the conference. I drove home that evening listening to worship music to clear my head off things. As soon as I got home, I dropped everything and got on my knees and prayed myself to sleep. God and I had to meet right there and then. I needed to just get it. It's like a vaccine. It wasn't easy. "Men don't cry" is a big lie when it comes to me. It felt good. It felt great. It was definitely draining and exhausting. I was tired, but also full of the Spirit. And that's what Saturday looked like.
... Sunday morning. I was inspired to make my mother heart shaped pancakes that didn't turn out so well. It turned out more like baby butt pancakes. I have no talent on making it look pretty, but I can sure make it taste delicious. Happy Valentines Day. Happy Chinese New Year. Happy Day. I got some siesta in today and that was like ice cream in a cone. I have to work while some has their day off for the President's day. It's okay. I can whine a little bit, but still get the work done. It's my nature sometimes to do that. My to-do list for this week has doubled from last week. I'm not sure if that's good. Perhaps I'm being a little too ambitious, but we'll see. I like a good challenge. I want to finish moving our office and the lab. Also want to spend some time with little brother maybe play ball with him sometime this week and relearn how to play the guitar, the eukelele, and the piano. In addition to reading my stack of books, and serving God's people, and taking care of myself. This will be exciting, I just have to be smarter.
I need to get a new journal. I drew dragons in the back of my journal and noticed that every 12 remaining pages of the notebook is full of doodles and pencil prints of my dream home and balderdash kind of words. I am so weird. It's ok, everyone is. This entry is what would be on my journal except with a lot more in detail and scribbles. Ready... Break! :)
