Free Falling

I fell over and over this morning when the sun was just about to arise, when thick clouds cover the sky and rain was pouring down on me. I went surfing this morning. The waves were well nourished this morning. It was early. It was cold. And it was Rad! I struggled getting back into surfing again. There was a point where I had it on probably a 5-8 feet and then I just blew it at the peak. Which is the highest point of a surf when it breaks. I was up high and just hoping my board won't break. I hit the water belly first. It sure did hurt. I was in a tumble dry for a good minute. My face was numb, and so as my hands and feet. I had it after about an hour being in the water. The wind was picking up and there was no sign of the sun. It was freezing. Thank goodness for some hot coco and a warm hot meal from Spires.

That was my morning... The rest of the day was a blur.

Here's a thought. It's free to fall, but it always cost something to rise. The force of gravity is pretty darn powerful. 9.81 meters over seconds squared is the force of gravity. Thus, the velocity keeps increasing as an object falls to the earth. Ignoring air resistance. I've taken enough Physics. I know this facts by heart. The physical matter is very distinctive. To be falling uses less energy than making something rise from the earth. Obviously, but to correlate that with life. It's a lot easier to fall down rather than lifting ourselves up.

It takes an effort to actually get our butts off the chair and make something happen. It doesn't take much effort to not do anything. It's easier to sit on the floor rather than going to go and grab a chair. It's faster to run out of money rather than to make it. It's easy to fall out of faith rather than grow into it. It's free to fall in love, but to convince that person to love you back needs some work.

It's just a thought... I'm pretty tired.

Update on me...

I find peace on moments like this. When the room is quiet and all I could hear are some rain drops hitting the rooftops and sliding through my window pane. Almost all the lights are off and I feel comfortable underneath my "snuggie" and drinking me a hot cup of tea. Life is wonderful! I just need that time for myself. It's very important to me. The last time I had an early night to myself was Wednesday night. I know it hasn't been that long, but with all the actions that has happened in the past few days it seems like it's been weeks. I haven't done laundry in a week. Which also means that I haven't changed my sheets in a week. That's how life goes.

The work week is ahead and I find it such a blessing to be working right now. Even though it's been rough and business hasn't been flowing like milk and honey. I'm not complaining. I'm just praying about it. Working hard as I can even though sometimes I feel like this is not what I'm suppose to be doing. I'm gaining knowledge everyday though. Good use for the future. The structure of a house is very complicated as I have thought. It seems pretty easy to me, but there are a lot of small details that messes me up. Other than that. I enjoy sitting at work studying, talking to people, and playing w/ some equipment. I get out on the field once in a while depending on how big or difficult the house is, but usually I work behind the scenes. I don't mind working on 20 different things at a time. In fact, the busier I get the more I like it.

Here's the part where I'm just going to ramble. Every time Haiti is mention. Two things I feel right away. One is how I feel so bless to be where I'm at. The other feeling is where I think I'm going to cry and leave my friends and everyone here to go over there and help dig some people out. It breaks my heart to see one of the worst countries be destroyed by nature like that. It really puts things into perspective. That country was already in a bad condition and now it just went from bad to extreme worse. I guarantee that at this moment right now that someone's dying over there right now. I'm totally broken. I feel like we take things oh so granted here that sometimes we're not aware that there are those people in places like Haiti that don't have what we have. I want to be able to help out not just by giving money. My prayers have changed tremendously ever since the tragedy. Words don't come out anymore. I tear up, I shake, I get the goosebumps, I just fall on the floor and say "God, I know you are seeing this. I want you to change it." I try to understand the reasoning behind it. I'm not the one who's charging the creator of something hideous like killing almost two hundred thousands of people. I'm just in awe of this such event and of such powerful God he is that the rapture can just come at us in just a few seconds. Anyways, the prayers will be pouring for Haiti. I love them and hopefully they can come back from a tragedy like this.

"He gives strenght to the weary and increases the power of the weak"

-Isiah 40:29

Your Most Basic Act Of Worship

Lord, I'm Yours. Whatever the cost may be, may Your will be done in my life. I realize I"m not here on earth to do my own thing, or to seek my own fulfillment or my own glory. I'm not here to indulge my desires, to increase my possessions, to impress people, to be popular, to prove I'm somebody important, or to promote myself. I'm not here even to be relevant or successful by human standards. I'm here to please You.

All that I am and all that I have I give to You.

I give You any rebellion in me, that resists doing Your will. I give You my pride and self dependence, that tell me I can do Your will in my own power if I try hard enough. I give You my fears, that tell me I'll never be able to do Your will in some areas of life. I consent to let You energize me... to create within me, moment by moment both the desire and the power to do Your will.

I give You my body and each of its members... my entire inner being: my mind, my emotional life, my will... my loved ones... my marriage or hopes for marriage...my abilities and gifts...my strengths and weaknesses....my health...my status (high or low)... my possessions... my past, my present and my future...when and how I'll go Home.

I'm here to love You, to obey You, to glorify You. O my beloved, may I be a joy to You!

31 Days of Praise... Ruth Meyers.

Frustration

Frustration- def. a feeling of disappointment or defeat at being unable to accomplish onces

purpose

My head is on a verge of exploding due to frustration. I can't do anything about some things, but I can't give up. Life goes on. Maybe there's a way to solve things or there's an alternative to take a different route. I look at the big picture, and the painting looks dull. I sit and stare at afar with a blank face. I don't exactly know what I did, I'm doing and I'll be doing. I get confused by things, but it's not suppose to be that complicated. I get frustrated with people, with circumstances, with life and sometimes I'll admit that I get frustrated with God.

Jesus got frustrated with his disciples once. In Matthew 16:8-12 when Jesus warned his disciples about those Pharisees and Sadducees. However, Jesus was patient and was more involve on helping them grow. Jesus wanted to show his disciples that he's the only way and that they need to put their trust on the Lord.

Now I have faith. It's actually on fire right now. It's the small things in life where sometimes I forget that everything is in God's will. I get too busy with life that I try to make it my plans and my time. It's actually not. I trust God's will for me and I am hungry to learn so much more about him and this ways.

I get frustrated when there's a task that has to be done, and I can't do anything about it. It's that feeling of not being able to help or not being able to get what I want. Pslam 131 reminds me that there are greater matters that I have no control of. I just have to be patient and know that God has something better in store for me.

I just gotta trust and depend on the Lord. Pray that I can have more patience and understanding. It can be done. Just gotta have faith and hope. It's ok. Things happen for a reason. There's a lot more to learn and study. I'm looking forward to engaging into more in depth research and study of why I feel what I feel. I already know that I'm weird. Then why is that? I'm special in so many different levels. Everyone is special and unique. It's great.

Breakfast at Midnight

I woke up this morning at 455am. I stared at my grumpy alarm clock asking him why does it have to wake me up psychologically. It didn't even have to make a noise. Ahhhh... Got up did my daily devotions and ate some frosted flakes at the same time. It was a wonderful morning. The sun was about to rise and it was just perfect.

Today was good. Productive as usual. Active as usual. It was balance to where I had to go home and make breakfast at midnight. We're talking about eggs, sausage, and toast. Yes! I am living it out. Tennis matches, Pool games, Movies, and fast food were the highlight of the first Wednesday of 2010. Way to go Me!

Being up at 455 did hurt. I was sore and tired the whole day yet managed to stay awake all through out. I even played 2 and a half hours of tennis. I like a good battle. I like to compete and hopefully win. There's nothing like a good competition with friends.

Speaking of good competition. How are those Lakers losing to the Clippers. Surprised?! Not really, it's the Lakers. I love them, but sometimes they have to show work even when the opponent is not even as talented as they are.

I have a lot more insights on things, but the food in my body is telling me to go to bed. I shall do that and perhaps tomorrow brings me another adventure.

First entry 2010

Here we go again; another adventure to another year. A new decade has arrived and I'm here writing a blog. Perhaps to show the world my grammar issues, my sloppy humor, and my sentimental battles of my daily living. To set things straight, I'm not writing for them to read. I'm writing for me to read. I need to release words of tension, or words of wisdom, or just words in general to make myself feel alive in this world. The purpose of me writing is not to entertain, nor to inform the things that's happening in my life. Everybody lives their own life, just like everybody poops. I just like to mumble and spit out words, and sentences that kind of make sense to me.

I like to see where I'm going. I like to see the things around me when I'm on the road. I like a good weathered sky that brings joy to my heart. I like some peace in quiet before I go to sleep. My life for 2010 starts now. I'm excited to see what it'll bring me. I'll be facing everyday with such enthusiasm and joy. There are goals to be met and promises to be kept. Oh there will be trials and sorrows, but there is also hope and faith. It's a simple equation really. I'm a man who doesn't like to complicate things. Life's "hevel" anyways, according to Solomon. I'll explain later. I just got to stay obedient to God. Follow his orders and let me lead my life by glorifying him. Done. So the word "hevel" def. fleeting (like an appearance of one's own breathe on a cold day), unsubstantial, absurd. Oh Ecclesiastes, I can't get started on it. I just love that book. I highly recommend it. I don't want to miss a beat this year. Just like I don't want to miss a rabbit shaped cloud, or a Dart Vader looking rock formation. The smallest things in life makes me smile. Well I smile all the time, so yea. hahaha...

Goals are listed and promises are made. It's all going to rock this year. I'm excited. Woohoo!!! Here's a few goals this year.

-read the bible 2010 (set a plan on reading it)

-learn a musical instrument

-get back into shape

-lead 2 people to Christ

-read some Shakespeare

-read more...

-help an old person cross the street

-ride the unicycle

-finish handicap bathroom at the shop

-finish a lot of unfinished projects

-keep my pet fish alive for more than 30 days

-stop telling people how to drive

-cook some home cook meals for friends

-date more...

-make my own ice cream

-limit some immature traits

-manage time better

-become a better leader

-become more active with the family

-become more proactive and diverse with work

-to grow uber closer to GOD!

...there's a lot more. I'm just tired. Yup! There we have it folks! Peace!