Proactive

Summer is pretty much done. Kids are back to school. Fall fashion line is in. The sun is setting a little earlier than normal. The breeze in the evening gets chiller as the spirit of Halloween is in the air. I find myself faced with sadness and great anxiety to what's ahead. The Lord does His will, but I am in still humanly state of perplexed syndrome that could cause to a radical and just a stupid move. There are things in line that may cause an imbalance of what the future looks like in this earth. To be more precise, it has to do with work, family, mission, and living.

I have been on this new week's resolution as the days go by. I try to improve at something daily. Whether going through that extra verse doing devotions, or drinking more water, being more creative w/ my presentation and reports, or making a random phone call to say "hello" to a stranger. I am definitely weird. That is okay. It's good to be different. I smile daily, yet there's a cloud of fear and terror that floats above me like the cloud that follows the adam's family vehicle wherever they go. Fear is good sometimes as long as face it w/ joy. Joy is the key to attaining most things. I have a fear of failing, but failing is okay. I accept the fact that failure happens. I also know that I can courageously face failure because I know it can't be completely avoided. I have joy and purpose. I am scared of that purpose due to my past and what have I become. Well as of now, I have become a man of God (or at least I would like to think so). Just gotta follow what the bible tells me.

There's something out there shiny and beautiful and there's me in here dealing with something that's already shines and is already beautiful. However, to think of going out there and seeking that challenge of adventure and discovering different ways to indulge in such could be a lei in my heart. I am intrigue of how this all will turn out. I am praying oh so dearly. I am making strides and taking steps to be a light in my community and to love those who may not even accept it. It's okay. I'm just going to love you even if you don't love me back. To love doesn't mean to be nice all the time.... haha... to love someone may involve confrontations, confessions, and revelations. Love, love, love. That's all we need right. Pshhhh...

Lately I've been that person that people use to talk to about their relationship issues. I guess I have great advice. I don't feel the pressure of courting anybody at the moment, but I do feel like everyone else around me is either getting engaged, dating, or getting rejected. Oh the story of love in terms of men and women. Just gotta know that woman's personality, strengths, and gifts. Then execute biblically and have make the drive God driven instead of "me" driving. I have God driving my car, who's driving yours? Is Jesus in the back seat? passenger? trunk? or is He not even in the car? A person asked if I would be willing to meet this girl that they have for me? And I responded by saying "sure" I love meeting new people, but to be set up is nice; however, I am not a big fan of someone telling me where the deer's rest. I know it's prideful, and it's bad. It's a problem of mine. My future wife will just be awesome and wonderful, and I'm sure she's here or there somewhere... As for now, my main focus is my God, and my mission. Other than that. I'm okay for now. :)