To start off the month of February. I think I'm going to write my "future wife" a love letter for the entire month of February 2012. I am single at the moment. I dream of having a family one day. That dream starts with me. The wife has to be pursued daily. I want to write a story line. My ambition in life is to not make my life boring. Like to dream of having the next best car, or get a high earning job, or have the same days every day. Let's make this interesting.
Let's make this interesting. In these letters there's character. First, there'd be a character, ME! Then the character would want something ie. Jesus, her, ice cream, a house, etc. Then the character has to over an enormous amount of conflict in order to get whatever they want. Then they get it! That's it. That's the recipe to a good story. I can write these letter, but I have to live it out when the time comes.
The things people 'like' these days are boring, shallow, and plain. I want to focus on sacrifice, risk, commitment, and love. I want something to happen and envision it. Time to take control of my life and make it more interesting and meaningful. I'm going to live it as a story. The conflicts that I face isn't something that I dread, it's something I welcome. Relationships has unlimited amounts of hills to climb and joy to dive to. I want to love my "future wife" to the best of my ability. God doesn't want us to be alone. He is always present in our lives even when life is too much to handle. I don't want to be alone in my golden age. I am content to be single for now.
So in the next 29 days.. I will be writing a story, a love story to my surely be wonderful future wife. I don't know who she is, perhaps she knows who I am. Perhaps I already know her. God only knows. I am just in great awe that God made men a companion in a woman. He doesn't want us to be alone. Everyday's a ministry. Leggo!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Discombobulated
Pray. I pray.
Give. I give.
Praise. I worship.
Apologize. I'm sorry.
Surrender. I persist.
Live. I breathe.
This first month of 2012 has been interesting. Faithful, I have been. Patience, I'm praying. God's challenging me a lot in different ways: in health, in wealth, in goodness, and bad. This year's goals are beyond ahead of schedule. Which I think is good. I keep trying to understand certain things for over three weeks now. I try to find answers through the word. The word only explains what the world offers, and that "He who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world"-1 John 4:4. Therefore, I am completely in "ME and HIM" mode the past few weeks. Keeping the fire that is burning inside of me. The need/want of what the world is yelling at me is a fairy tale of a story. I awareness of true love encompasses Jesus. And I am at His service and to all His people.
Not to be rude or anything. I want to see people know Him. I want people to grow in Him. I want people to live a life full of Him. My selfish desires can be replaced by the thought of how can I become a better man for Him. If that's going to involve moving somewhere, or working at a new place, or buying a house, or pursuing a woman, or going back to school, or taking tango lessons, etc. I will. My heart is fixed on Him. But the world keeps rattling it. It's already literally unstable, and it hasn't been feeling great lately. I do what I do, but I feel is not what I want to feel. I know what I know, and I only know what my five senses pick up. To be reading beyond the society, culture, and lifestyle is beyond me. I understand the general idea, but each individual is different. I say what I say because I am concern. I like to challenge myself and others with truth and love. How can I be a cynical man in someone's point of view if they won't even welcome the true me.
Everything is seen from the outside. Men and women are easily deceived by actions, attitude, and assets. What happened to perseverance, character, and hope? This is why I love going to places such as rescue mission places, and rehab places where they offer people a new beginning. They're there getting clean, getting God's word, and understanding that what really matter is their character and not what the world throws at them. Anybody can make their own choice, but in the end if what you want comes true or not. The reality of how God really views that is by the reaction to His will. Let His will be done.. Yes! Even when things are super difficult and I am getting closer and closer to my death. To Him be the glory. Or when things are full of satisfaction. The right things are just flowing accordingly to what we want and what makes us happy, to Him be the glory.
It sounds like I'm obsesses with my god. Well, I kind of am. He is first, and I am second. All the science, business, and recreation that's consuming my daily life is just a subdivision of my life. The main point of my life is to be following Jesus. Things get me side tracked. My own wants, and my own dreams get in the way of my walk with Jesus. I get too focused on me rather than be focusing on Him. I'm too concerned for my own reputation, but that doesn't really matter. All these false teachings, and feel good temporary psychic techniques can work for now, but only Jesus really heals. I pray all the time even when my heart won't stop beating rapidly. I want to leave a legacy. I don't want to live a life thinking what would it be like with the "if's. I am often lost, I feel like that's part of following the shepherd. I'm just a sheep amongst sheep. I believe that my heart will come in peace w/ my mind. Always be praying. Yes. :)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Interaction is a Need
The way things work shouldn't be complicated. One acts, one reacts. Energy stored, energy transfered. There are times when nothing is really working. No reaction, no energy transfer, no response. Usually, there's a reason behind everything. God had a reason why he created things, destroy things, renew things, and resolve things. He desired to share life with others. As men and women of Christ, we desire relationships with each other. Unfortunately sometime we desire relationships from others first before we do with God. Only if we desire God first and more than anything else. Then the rest will just flow like honey. The more we get closer to Him, the more life becomes joyful and worth living. In any way, shape, or form life just becomes more full. It's not a "just" but it's Jesus who makes life worth every second of it.
Humans crave relationship. As soon as we say a word to someone, there's a relationship built from a "hi, how are you?" to a nod acknowledging them. Out bodies are like ships. When we see another ship in the open seas, we see them on our radars. We know they're there. Some we chose to radio, some we pass by. Some we become attached too, some you run away from, and some we sink. This wide array of water is overseen by God. He created all things and He sees over and under everything. People have a certain way of addressing people. It does say in the bible in Luke chapter 6, to do to others what you want to be done to you. If that golden rule is applied to everyone on this earth, then maybe this earth wouldn't be so wrecked. I just want to love w/o expecting anything back. I just want to give w/o questioning. I just want to laugh out of nothing. I just want to give you a hug because you breathe. Men and women have existed this long, so something is working. However, I'm guessing over 70% of this world is broken. Most of it has to do with relationships. Either parents, family, friend, co-worker, spouse, kid, girlfriend, boyfriend, acquaintance, lab partner, teacher, mayor, waiter, etc. we're all connected by a web of people. We live because of people. Imagine if we live because of Jesus. People, whether they make you happy or not, we'd still love them no matter what.
Those who don't believe still lives and needs relationships from fellow humans for a reason. Whether it'd be themselves, some other god, or a thing. The human brain shuts down without people around it. We're wired to talk, think, and feel. Even if you get stuck on an island alone for months. You will either lose your mind or make something your imaginary friend and talk to them even if they don't talk back. For example: "Wilsom" from Cast away. It kept Chuck, Tom Hanks, sane as he tries to survive in this dessert island. What kept him from living was his will and love for the woman of his life. Kelly, played by Helen Hunt. In that locket was her picture. It gave him courage, will power, and strength to continue life. It wasn't easy, but he survive in that island. I know, it's a film, but people in this world actually have experienced being alone for a long period of time. Alone, being stuck in an island, in a building, an elevator, the jungle, etc. I can't even imagine that feeling. The fact that I can always look up in the sky and talk to God is great, but to not have anybody to talk too, think about, and feel for a long period of time is an unhappy place to be. Therefore, we live with for God, and with people.
Humans crave relationship. As soon as we say a word to someone, there's a relationship built from a "hi, how are you?" to a nod acknowledging them. Out bodies are like ships. When we see another ship in the open seas, we see them on our radars. We know they're there. Some we chose to radio, some we pass by. Some we become attached too, some you run away from, and some we sink. This wide array of water is overseen by God. He created all things and He sees over and under everything. People have a certain way of addressing people. It does say in the bible in Luke chapter 6, to do to others what you want to be done to you. If that golden rule is applied to everyone on this earth, then maybe this earth wouldn't be so wrecked. I just want to love w/o expecting anything back. I just want to give w/o questioning. I just want to laugh out of nothing. I just want to give you a hug because you breathe. Men and women have existed this long, so something is working. However, I'm guessing over 70% of this world is broken. Most of it has to do with relationships. Either parents, family, friend, co-worker, spouse, kid, girlfriend, boyfriend, acquaintance, lab partner, teacher, mayor, waiter, etc. we're all connected by a web of people. We live because of people. Imagine if we live because of Jesus. People, whether they make you happy or not, we'd still love them no matter what.
Those who don't believe still lives and needs relationships from fellow humans for a reason. Whether it'd be themselves, some other god, or a thing. The human brain shuts down without people around it. We're wired to talk, think, and feel. Even if you get stuck on an island alone for months. You will either lose your mind or make something your imaginary friend and talk to them even if they don't talk back. For example: "Wilsom" from Cast away. It kept Chuck, Tom Hanks, sane as he tries to survive in this dessert island. What kept him from living was his will and love for the woman of his life. Kelly, played by Helen Hunt. In that locket was her picture. It gave him courage, will power, and strength to continue life. It wasn't easy, but he survive in that island. I know, it's a film, but people in this world actually have experienced being alone for a long period of time. Alone, being stuck in an island, in a building, an elevator, the jungle, etc. I can't even imagine that feeling. The fact that I can always look up in the sky and talk to God is great, but to not have anybody to talk too, think about, and feel for a long period of time is an unhappy place to be. Therefore, we live with for God, and with people.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Mama! Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Bithday Mama!
On the 4th of January back in 1961, my beloved mother, Grace was born. Love her tons!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Christmas & New Year 2012
Christmas Joy!
I was in Utah for a few days before Christmas and got back into town on the eve of Christmas. Interestingly enough after a 10 hour drive back to Los Angeles, I had enough energy to sing with the choir and attend the Christmas eve service. I wanted to go to church for Christmas. There wasn't any certainty of how long my uncle and his family wanted to stay in Cedar City, Utah. However I really wanted to go skiing in Utah and try out the snow mobiles. Sooo good! I was also a little sick and sad that week, but I'm okay now.
Christmas day was fun! I took my room mate to the airport at 430am. Watched the sun rise from the east and was over joyed that Jesus is born! I was just happy. Reasons only God can explain. There wasn't really anything exciting going on for me for Christmas. I just was greeting everyone a Merry Christmas. I called those whom I really really wanted to talk to and I went to go visit my mom and her family for lunch. It was mellow. I wasn't really expecting any presents. Just to see people happy was wonderful to me. I wrapped, bagged, and ordered most of my beloved presents and most of them were already received. I went home after spending time with my family and the Lakers loosing their season opener. Spent time with Iggy, and napped. That was my Christmas. It was merry! I had joy and peace in my heart.
The week between Christmas and New Years is like heaven week. Worked for two days and then spent the rest of the week enjoying my time with people and friends. I made the most of that week. I think I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with people everyday that week. Such a good week of just relaxing, eating, and adventuring! I pretty much hung out with students 80% of the time. It's been real. I tried having a plan, but things doesn't usually work out. Its okay. In anything that I do, do it with joy! Yes, Philippians 4.
New Years Eve!
Yes! Party! Fun! Saying toodles to 2011 was about as fun as peeling a tangerine. I love 2011, there's definitely moments of extreme gladness and times of conflicts. It was a learning year. A year of great risk, great results, and great failures. I must say that I've learned a lot from last year. Always learning... It's so good. NYE was spent partying with my best frens! I am very blessed to have frens with the same morals and values. NYE has always been a time of year where I go monkeys. We're changing. I know, I'm changing. I'm getting older. I'm feeling wiser and more mature. I feel like I should be a dad. I am one to about 90 jr highers. lol... I know that's weird, but I feel like I'm 50 or something. It's a good feeling. I still rock the house with some party rockin. 2011 was a gateway from being a young adult, to an adult. It's good. It's all temporary, God's smiling at me. I know He is. :)
2012 will be interesting. Great things are still to come! Greater things are still to be done in this city!! There are no such things as resolutions. There are goals and to-do list for 2012, but life could throw me a coconut and totally can catch me off guard like it did last year. I learned my lesson from that. This world is so interesting and fun. It's not a game, but it can be competitive. Just with work, relationships, and mission. I can't control this world and the people in this world, but I can always adjust and adapt to it. God is with us. There's this fortune cookie that I saw once that says 'men do not fail... they give up trying. I'm the kind of man that doesn't really give up. It's 95% mental. So here it goes... things that would be nice to have accomplished by 2012.
-Read the whole bible again
-Reconnect with my dad
-Bring family to jof
-Talk missions to the missional pastor of jof
-Teach a class at church
-Change careers
-Take steps to start a non profit
-Get rid of my heart problem
-Write a book
-Give up donuts
-To not chew with my mouth open
-Fitness and healthy living
-Take dancing again
-Cook more
- Shop less
-Drive less
- Say "i love you" to my momma
- See my sister finish college
- Surfing again
- Pursue a beautiful woman of God
- Pier to pier
- Alcatraz, maybe
- Less cocky, more humility
- See more kids and adults saved
- Get published in a science journal
- Plant my own garden
- Iggy, learn a new trick
- Encourage more & be positive
- Take steps on build a house project
- Take care of myself more
- Become more open and inviting
-...... more that God has planned for me this year. :)
I was in Utah for a few days before Christmas and got back into town on the eve of Christmas. Interestingly enough after a 10 hour drive back to Los Angeles, I had enough energy to sing with the choir and attend the Christmas eve service. I wanted to go to church for Christmas. There wasn't any certainty of how long my uncle and his family wanted to stay in Cedar City, Utah. However I really wanted to go skiing in Utah and try out the snow mobiles. Sooo good! I was also a little sick and sad that week, but I'm okay now.
Christmas day was fun! I took my room mate to the airport at 430am. Watched the sun rise from the east and was over joyed that Jesus is born! I was just happy. Reasons only God can explain. There wasn't really anything exciting going on for me for Christmas. I just was greeting everyone a Merry Christmas. I called those whom I really really wanted to talk to and I went to go visit my mom and her family for lunch. It was mellow. I wasn't really expecting any presents. Just to see people happy was wonderful to me. I wrapped, bagged, and ordered most of my beloved presents and most of them were already received. I went home after spending time with my family and the Lakers loosing their season opener. Spent time with Iggy, and napped. That was my Christmas. It was merry! I had joy and peace in my heart.
The week between Christmas and New Years is like heaven week. Worked for two days and then spent the rest of the week enjoying my time with people and friends. I made the most of that week. I think I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with people everyday that week. Such a good week of just relaxing, eating, and adventuring! I pretty much hung out with students 80% of the time. It's been real. I tried having a plan, but things doesn't usually work out. Its okay. In anything that I do, do it with joy! Yes, Philippians 4.
New Years Eve!
Yes! Party! Fun! Saying toodles to 2011 was about as fun as peeling a tangerine. I love 2011, there's definitely moments of extreme gladness and times of conflicts. It was a learning year. A year of great risk, great results, and great failures. I must say that I've learned a lot from last year. Always learning... It's so good. NYE was spent partying with my best frens! I am very blessed to have frens with the same morals and values. NYE has always been a time of year where I go monkeys. We're changing. I know, I'm changing. I'm getting older. I'm feeling wiser and more mature. I feel like I should be a dad. I am one to about 90 jr highers. lol... I know that's weird, but I feel like I'm 50 or something. It's a good feeling. I still rock the house with some party rockin. 2011 was a gateway from being a young adult, to an adult. It's good. It's all temporary, God's smiling at me. I know He is. :)
2012 will be interesting. Great things are still to come! Greater things are still to be done in this city!! There are no such things as resolutions. There are goals and to-do list for 2012, but life could throw me a coconut and totally can catch me off guard like it did last year. I learned my lesson from that. This world is so interesting and fun. It's not a game, but it can be competitive. Just with work, relationships, and mission. I can't control this world and the people in this world, but I can always adjust and adapt to it. God is with us. There's this fortune cookie that I saw once that says 'men do not fail... they give up trying. I'm the kind of man that doesn't really give up. It's 95% mental. So here it goes... things that would be nice to have accomplished by 2012.
-Read the whole bible again
-Reconnect with my dad
-Bring family to jof
-Talk missions to the missional pastor of jof
-Teach a class at church
-Change careers
-Take steps to start a non profit
-Get rid of my heart problem
-Write a book
-Give up donuts
-To not chew with my mouth open
-Fitness and healthy living
-Take dancing again
-Cook more
- Shop less
-Drive less
- Say "i love you" to my momma
- See my sister finish college
- Surfing again
- Pursue a beautiful woman of God
- Pier to pier
- Alcatraz, maybe
- Less cocky, more humility
- See more kids and adults saved
- Get published in a science journal
- Plant my own garden
- Iggy, learn a new trick
- Encourage more & be positive
- Take steps on build a house project
- Take care of myself more
- Become more open and inviting
-...... more that God has planned for me this year. :)
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