There's more to these. There's more to inspecting houses, paying taxes, setting up a lab, marketing & advertising, writing contracts, and keeping up to date on everything. It's just not me. Then what is me? Good question. I want to cook for you. I want to go in the back yard pick a live chicken and kill it for supper. I want to take my ragged car and drive it to anywhere. I want to be able to serve people not feeling like I'm doing it to get resources or for my own good. I don't need to shop for myself, yet I do enjoy it. I go to the market and I see a huge variety of bread. I just want bread. Thank you for enticing my eyes with the huge amount of yeast used to make em'. I want to live in a small town, where I don't need to feel like I need to impress everyone. I'm not. Yet, people around me still thinks that they're higher or thinks that they're better than everyone else. Can I just be simple, yet bountiful, full of joy, enthusiastic about life? I want to go and pick vegetables, and make stew. I don't need this city to create this image of a man of today. I am a man of myself, who glorifies God, and follows Jesus's footsteps. Perhaps, I can't turn water into wine, or turn rocks into bread. However, I can go pick fruits and squeeze me some lemons to make me lemonade, or go fishing until I have enough fish to clean and cook. It seems like I've done more growing up than I've done now that I'm a grown up. Perhaps being exposed to the city life was a bad idea. My parents wanted me to excel out in the world. Okay, mom and dad. I got it. Now I don't want it. I want to live like my great grandparents who had it simple, yet blissful. I want a farm, I want a small little shack by the ocean. I want to live freely, I want to be able to use my gifts and skills for a better purpose. I don't want to gain anything. I want to give everything away. I want blackouts, I want to go to my own well to get water. I want to get sick and have the town's doctor heal me. I want fresh fish from the lake. I want fresh milk straight from the cow. I want bucket showers. I want to not have to deal with the government, but still be obeying. I want to be naked and free.
Sure, there's other people out there who desires that, but have they lived it? I am jealous for those who are genuinely happy with their lives who are far from smog, kfc, malls, and tall buildings. Even though, I once wanted to own my own building in downtown LA. I miss those days where you wake up from a screaming rooster, where you get to feed animals, and read books on a mid day and drink goat's milk and take siestas. Waking up and it's low tide and you just chase birds, fly a kite, or hold hands with someone all afternoon by the sunset. Walking for a few kilometers to get to the market, instead of taking the train or driving. Finding shells to collects and tree branches to use for kindling. Lighting candles instead of turning on the power. Using a cardboard as a fan and the arms get tired of fanning yourself. Going on a boat trip to go dive and explore coral reefs. To be in a crazy storms where it looks like the whole house is going to fly. I want adventure. I want to live it again. Just to see bugs crawling around, or a spider excites me because that mean that mother nature is visiting us. I know, I guess I'm weird like that. I use to play with spiders growing up. I put them in little match boxes and treat them as pets. Also raced cockroaches growing up in the streets of Asia. I also used to catch dragonflies and other bugs that looks cool out in farms in Europe. I want to ice fish in Antarctica and suffer the cold weather. I want to meet the Maasai in Africa and live with them for a long time. I want wake up from a rooster yelling at me and not my stupid alarm clock or my subconscious self that's telling me that I have to be up cause I have an eight thirty meeting. I tried doing a little bit of research and it's either going for a vacation or a mission is the case. What about to go for the juice of it, I don't want to fruit. I want the juice. I'm on a mission anywhere I go, work, home, church, market, mall, beach... I don't have to go far to reach out to people, there's people here.
This society is upgrading everything. You can actually purchase a water proof bible now. People are so in rush nowadays, it's driving me nuts. It's not like I can't keep up, but what's the rush? Really?! So that we can accomplish more, to have more time, to see more, to gain more? Wouldn't that just be like telling God to keep up with our business and our crazy schedules? I don't know. I like a fast phase life, but not thinking for my own gain. Sometimes I am guilty of doing this faster, so that I gain more. There are times in life where you just gotta be quick and fast. For example, in the kitchen when you're cooking a dish and it has to be done chop-chop. Or when a kid is choking on a chicken bone, gotta be quick to react. A big picture example would be getting all the family members together for a family picture, now if that can't be done fast and quick, it'll never get done. Is it selfish to be always in a rush because there's no time for this or that? If there is time, God will make time. I look around and people want more. I look at the mirror, and I'm guilty of the same thing. Bob!Adam and Eve wanted more. Jesus only wanted us us to follow him and do his works on our own pace. He never told us to hurry, nor to slow down. As long as the Holy Spirit is within us, then let the Spirit lead. Galatians 5:22-23a NIV "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control". King James said it a little differently, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance". Now I'm not sure why it went from long suffering to patience and temperance to self-control. Patience doesn't usually involve suffering nowadays, but it actually does for the new generation. Kids start to throw a tantrum when they don't get what they want. Teens start to rebel when they can't have what they want. Adults... well they know better, right? Sitting in traffic would be a great example of people's patience. I mean, understandable that there's a lot of people with cars that are driving to wherever they're going. Some are running late, some are doing fine with time, and some could care less. Yet 30% out of those 33.333% of them people wants to be wherever they want to be as soon as possible. For those who are running late, I understand punctuality is important, but it is what it is. Pray about it, maybe traffic would split like the red sea. For those who are doing fine with time, I understand being early is good, but you're still going to be on time. For those who don't need to be somewhere at a certain time, I understand that you want to be able to do more things when you get to wherever you go, how about start praying while being stuck in traffic. Talk out loud in the car like I do, talk to your creator, talk to God. Ask him why the red Miata doesn't know the difference between the gas and the break pedal. I don't know, but for those who aren't in any time stress, traffic is, will always be there. Now where is the long suffering in that? Oh ya, the sitting on traffic is suffering because I can do so much more with this wasted time. False, time is never wasted. God gave us time, be thankful. It's not just here in America, I've seen it all over the world.
Maybe someone could desire a life away from the city or to be able to get away and go to a place where it could be like a paradise island. But for how long can they last? Then about 80% of them come back and do what they're used to doing- which is perhaps working on a desk, or going back to that lab, office, company, garage, yard, house, project. I don't understand the purpose of wanting something that's temporary. Yes, there are things out there that's temporary. Like jobs, cars, houses, clothes, light bulbs, microwaves, pizza, etc. Why can't we desire something that's everlasting? Something that's infinite and more vital to living; like a closer relationship to God, or a loving relationship with ya'll fellow brothers and sisters, a family, a church, and that community fueled by faith. I think with all that, the temporaries will just come along. There will be light bulbs, there will be clothes, there will be pizza. This world's not that destroyed yet. There's still hope.
...I slightly dislike paper work and everything is done in paper nowadays. Everywhere ya go, there's paper involve. You go to a restaurant you get a paper receipt. You go drive somewhere and you have to have a paper things like license, insurance, and registration. You go to church and there's flyers. You go to the bathroom, there's toilet paper. Money is made out of paper. Any type of work deals with paper. Yes, paper is important. I agree. Tsai Lun, a Chinese fellow invented paper. Good job. Now, what if people just ate, slept, stayed warm, enjoy, love, and worship God? Wouldn't that just be great! Oh sin... look what you've done....
It is my dream to make this happen to not have to have plans. I want to live my life where I don't have to make a plan, God just directs and I follow. I want to make plans as they go. No more plan a,b,c,d,e...x,y,z. I have a vision, I dream it, I see it, I will take it and own it. I don't know how I'm going to be able too, but I know that God provides. And all this time the Spirit lives in me because of fruits are beginning to ripen in me. The fruits of love, joy, peace, long sufferings (patience), gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control (temperance) is slowly ripening inside of me and it's time for picking. Now will I be perfect at this? Of course not, it is in my nature to crave that apple that Eve picked. I'll always think that I don't have a plan even though I do. It's efficient, but more driven towards the fruits of the Spirit. I'm still going to use logic, be rational, and use common sense. However, I'm working on having my sensation, thoughts, beliefs, desires, and choosing focused on God every time of my life. I want to feel the Holy Spirit working in me everyday. I want to be always thinking that God is always there for me. I know and believe that God is everywhere and anywhere in this world even in dark corners. My desire should only be to glorify and to worship God, and to be able to follow his Son and to be filled with the Spirit. And I choose God over anything else. Amen!
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