When I left everyone I got in my car and started driving and praying at the same time. I have a prayer list in my head that I go through everyday. I prayed for 26 minutes. That's how long it took me to get home. I wasn't in a rush to get home, but I was really exhausted. I should be really sleeping right now. I prayed until I walked in my house.
I wasn't really done talking to God, but then I just stopped and didn't end it with an "amen". Strangely enough I couldn't sleep and now I'm typing on this thing worrying about waking up in time for my meeting. God knows my prayers before I even say them out loud. He knows what's up. I just want to express that to him. I wish I had a better way of praying. I wish I had more than 24 hours a day to pray to him and to worship him. For Him be the glory, right? My meeting tomorrow is for his glory. My sleep deprived body is for him. The purpose of me not getting my sleep is to write about him. He's so amazing!
Prayer... it's going to be the topic for the Station Retreat in three weeks. Even got it down to its sections (Prophet's, Psalms, Jesus, Paul's prayer). I'm excited. I'm challenged by this. My prayer life's not that amazing, but people think that I'm funny. I don't really know why. I'm spontaneous with my prayers. I say what comes to my heart. I'm not like everyone else, where they sound like they're talking at a recital, and that they're trying to be just humans who are asking for blessings from God. Sure, we're humans indeed. However, Jesus hanged out with humans too. No need to impress him with big words. Yes, He is our King. We must be careful of what to say to him, and be gentle and real. Even then, he already knows what my heart desires. Saying a prayer is just making my heart and my mind work together and my body as one; just like the Trinity. To keep him in our thoughts in a rate that goes 86,400 seconds a day would be wonderful. Even to be thinking of Him even when we're standing in line at the market, or cleaning that toilet, or riding a bike, or playing sports, or just breathing can be a prayer that our lives would be glorifying Him. That I can be that person, that man, that He wants me to be.
I pray not for myself, but for others. I think of them more than I think of myself. It may sound creepy, but I see more hurt in others than I see my own hurt. Or perhaps I'm just in denial. Sometimes I feel like that, but there are literally people out there that's suffering extremely worse than I am. I'm just going to be sleep deprived tomorrow morning and probably look forward for a nap in the mid-day somewhere, but some one out there is probably in the icu dealing with some sort of a life threatening disease or someone's out there who hasn't had anything to eat or drink in 4 days, or someone out there that's being raped or being taken advantage right now. I'm just an ordinary guy, with extra ordinary vision. It may sound extreme, but I guess I am extreme like that. I've always been. I'd always take on that killer wave, fight the biggest dude, climb the tallest tree, solve the hardest problem. I like the challenge, I just don't enjoy it when God tells me that it's not for me and then I have to move on and take on a wave and learn to love it more. Life is full of trials and errors. The ratio of error and infallible is like 324 errors to 1 infallible. Prayer keeps that ratio seem lower than it is. I just have to be firm and have the confidence that He will work it out. He always does. Jesus is alive! Amen!
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